There are times in life when you feel exhausted, like you can’t keep going on. So it is precisely during those times, when it feels like nothing makes sense, that you desperately seek for a reason for everything. This happens when you don’t feel like doing anything, when you feel too lazy to express yourself and when sending everything to hell seems to be the only solution.
You know what I’m talking about. I know it too. I went through one of those times quite recently. I guess there were several reasons, like that my performance at work should be better, that I should be spending more time on my project, that I should be organizing my free time better, that I should be taking better care of my relationships… Pressure, obligations, fears, stress, all that together. And at the end, during those times, each one of us focuses our attention in the reason that we think must be the origin of everything wrong in our lives. In my case, that is my condition as a blind and deaf person.
Today, however, I feel happy, and I think it is because I have decided to take away all those “I should” from my mind and instead, to tell myself: “Javi, you come first.” You come first, because you can’t demand from yourself more than what you can give. You come first, because you don’t have to do anything that, instead of making you happy, makes you feel bad. You come first, because you don’t have to satisfy anybody, because you don’t have to save the world, because you don’t have to be a hero. Feel free, be yourself, talk whenever you feel like, enjoy what you do, laugh when you are happy and cry when you are sad. Because life is too short to live it trying to pursue other people’s dreams.
The drawing depicts Javi, who is reflecting in a relaxed atmosphere, leaning against a tree.